Monday Hangover - November 29, 2010

On Thanksgiving, I like to eat. A lot. And when I eat a lot, I undo my belt. That's right. I feel like a fat slob and I undo my belt and I lay down and go into a food coma. The turkey, the wine, the crappy football games all just put me into a Thanksgiving stupor. Apparently, I wasn't the only one as the three active Philly sports teams seemed to carry their Thanksgiving hangovers into the weekend. Well, maybe not the Sixers who actually won a game to move them to a 4-13 record.

Sippin' on Jay and Juice


If there's one thing to come out of this weekend, it's this: I hate Jay Cutler. The Chicago Bears quarterback seemingly "torched" the Eagles D. And by "torch" I mean dink and dumped them down the field while the Eagles couldn't tackle or make a play for most of Sunday's game. Cutler threw for four touchdowns but it was hardly a dominant performance. But why the hate? Well it stems from my reason of hating any quarterback. The same reason why both Eli and Peyton irk me so much. The "face". It's all about the "face". The "face" rears it's ugly....well... face... anytime Jay doesn't get a call or a receiver drops a pass or he gets a really nasty hangnail. It's that face that I just can't stand.

Jay "Veal" Cutler doing his best impression of his own "face".

Cutler made the face several times during the Bears 31-26 victory over our beloved Eagles. The face got so bad at one point during the game that the refs gave him a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty even though they meant to say "Cutler face" penalty. And that's when the Bears were up big in the fourth quarter.

While not born with Jay's face, I was born with a deformity. I have no filter and I always enjoy word association. When someone says "elephant", I think "trunk". When someone says "mosquito", I think "bite". And when someone says "Jay Cutler", I think "douche-turd". It just happens. It is the most logical.

Like a Crystal Ball

You have to hand it to fellow contributor Zach P. He's like a soothsayer sometimes. When he says "beware the Ides of March", you better recognize and beware the ides of March because Zach P. knows somethings-a-brewin'. In Zach's Black Friday post, he set the table for an Eagles' "Letdown" as made famous by the pop-punk band Cartel. The Eagles definitely stirred up a letdown and the Madden NFL soundtracks are never wrong. Neither is Zach P., apparently. Perhaps the Eagles should heed another Madden soundtrack song of the 2007 variety for Thursday's game against the Texans. I recommend the fantastic number by Shorty da Kid "Get Loose". Even though the lyrics are up to interpretation I believe that at one point Shorty advises all of us to "Get Loose. And a wooly wool-ah..." Or something. Heed Shorty's words Eagles. Heed them now.

Jello Shoot-outs

While the Eagles struggled in the majority of their matchup and the Sixers don't show up to 75% of their games, especially in the fourth quarter, the Flyers have been a team of consistency. Not getting blown out and being tough in every game is a good sign. However, the Flyers are consistent in one way that has been tough for them in the first quarter of the season. The Fly Guys cannot seem to buy a win in overtime.

Hockey may be the ficklest sport of them all. On any given night, a so-called bad team may just be able to beat a so-called good team. One bounce of the puck here, one poorly timed penalty there could create such a swing. Well the Flyers saw this happen twice over the holiday weekend. Following a very tough shootout loss to lowly Calgary on Black Friday, the Flyers lost another shootout to the even lowlier (is that a word) division rival Devils Saturday afternoon.

The Black Friday game might as well have been called the black eye game because I can guarantee that Chris Pronger wanted to give the refs a few black eyes after that one. The Flyers had seemingly won the game in overtime when the refs called Pronger for an unsportsmanlike penalty and disallowed the supposed game winning goal by captain Mike Richards. Pronger was legally camped in front of the goalie and was trying to screen, a play that happens about a hundred times in each hockey game. Trying to direct his teammates, Pronger was waving his arm and then put his hands back on his stick. Richards goal found the net but the refs stated that Pronger directly blocked the Flames goalies' line of sight. A penalty was called, the goal disallowed, and the Flames took advantage in the shootout.

The next day, the Flyers offense sputtered and a scrappy Devils team took the shootout after four attempts. Not much to say about these two games except that the 2 points that the Flyers earned could have easily been 4. Let's hope that hosting the Boston Bruins will allow the Flyers to recaputre their early season magic. We all remember what happened when the Flyers last played the Bruins in last year's playoffs. You know the Bruins are still hurting over that.

Cause in the words of Cartel and Zach P., we hope that the Flyers don't "get up for the letdown."