Can't Let "That" Guy Beat Us!

Fear not, loyal blog followers, for I am back from my annual Galapagos Island Trip. As fellow contributor Zach P. pointed out, I make my annual journey down there to watch the monarch butterfly migrate. This trip unfortunately did not include my friend who got me hooked onto the migration: Austin Kearns. As you may know, Kearns is for the first and probably last time, playing in a League Championship Series for the New York Yankees.

I missed ya, buddy. Doesn't he just look like he likes monarch butterflies?

Anyway, I'm back and after a lovely Monday Hangover post by Zach P., I have something to just complain about it. And it comes down to just one thing: Cody Ross. I hate him. I don't want Cody Ross to be the reason why the Phillies do not win the World Series. Just like Austin Kearns looks like a guy who enjoys a butterfly or two, Ross looks like a typical San Francisco hobo who collects change from a diaper. Trust me, I've been to San Francisco. And although it is a beautiful city, you will see more homeless people there than any other place on Earth. To top it off, most look like Ross:

I mean just look at him!

The straggly beard and bald/shaved head doesn't work for many people and I would prefer if a more beautiful person beat the Phillies. Like Pat Burrell. He really hasn't done too much to hurt the Phillies. Instead it's been Smurf Ross above. Seriously, paint him blue and he'll look less like a character from Avatar and more like Papa Smurf.

It's probably because I consider myself a terrible person, but sometimes I dislike people based on the way they look and that's it. I know, pretty awful. I'm not saying that when I see an ugly person, I immediately dislike them. But when they look like Ross and when Ross is absolutely just coming through with the clutchest hits that his face has no business making, I take offense.

For example, I'm in a large minority that just can't stand Peyton Manning. I mean he's a great quarterback and all, but I just hate him. Why? Because he looks like an idiot hillbilly and like he could be his own bobblehead doll. Google him and you'll see what I'm talking about. I don't think they changed the scale of his head for a Peyton Manning bobblehead.

Maybe I'm so hostile because I'm nervous about this series. It might stretch to seven games now which is going to be tough. Big Joe Blanton is on the mound tonight and it's essentially a must-win game. And I want "our" guys to succeed, even despite some of their looks. I want Jayson "I Look like a Goat Sometimes" Werth to jack another bomb. I want Chooch "Turtle" Ruiz to keep the clutch hits coming. And I'd much rather see the light goatee of Brad Lidge close out a game rather than the Just-For-Men beard madness of Giants closer Brian Wilson.

I still feel good about the series and maybe I'm just projecting my own insecurities on Mr. Ross. Because, even I, R. Scott, Mr. Heartbreak, was told that I resemble another baseball star recently:

Mark Teixeira "Tex"

And I just don't see it.